Saturday, July 7, 2007

Another week of waiting

Yep, another week has passed with no good news really. I did talk to my insurance company about switching to a PPO as Barix suggested that would help. According to my insurance company, if Barix surgeons are "out of network" it doesn't matter if I'm PPO or HMO...either way I'm going to be paying out of pocket for their services. At least, that's what I think they told me. Who knows with that insurance lingo!

SO...I started to really look at other surgeons that accept my insurance and are listed on the OH website. I've found several who do the surgery and accept my insurance...the problem I'm finding is that they all use "regular" hospitals to perform the surgery. I really like the idea that WLS is all Barix does....that there are no (or at least less) nasty infections floating around, that the equipment is over-sized etc. On the positive side...I guess if there are any serious complications I'd prefer to be in a regular hospital with all their resources. Also, Barix is over an hour away from my home...and I could probably find a Dr. closer.

There is one Dr. in particular (Dr. Gus Slotman) who's close by and has wonderful reviews on the OH website...so I'll be checking into him. I did find that there is a surgeon at Barix who appears to accept my insurance (Dr. Neil Marymor) but he doesn't do lap rny...only open. Open surgery is still too scary sounding to me right now. They also had a Dr. Alan Brader who was there and would have been a great candidate, but it looks as though he's moved somewhere else now. I'm surprised by the number of surgeons I see people have used and then they move on and the patients are left w/o a doctor. That sucks. I think it's important that I find a surgeon who will at least be around for a couple years to do followups etc. I'm sure there's no guarantees there...but I do plan to at least ask when I get down to someone I'm really considering.

SO...I'm on the hunt for a new center/surgeon...I don't want to put all my eggs in the Barix basket...especially since I've never even been there! They just have such awesome reviews by their patients.

Still reading and researching...learning all that I'm in for with this surgery. I go see my primary Dr. next week, so I'll find out her opinion. That should be interesting. I've never actually discussed my weight with a Dr. before. How weird is that? You'd think one of them over the years would have at least approached the subject.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Still Waiting...

So Elizabeth at Barix tried to explain "in network" to me...it's not nearly as complicated as it sounds...basically, the facility is "in network" meaning my insurance will pay for the facility no problem...but their doctors are still in the application stages of being "in network"...so who knows how long that will be! I also talked to my insurance company and they said they can't give ME a time frame but that the surgeons should be able to ask their case managers for a time frame...Elizabeth side-stepped the question and just said that the dr's want it as much or more than I do so she was sure they were putting pressure on their cases. Hmmmm...

My husband owns his own company and so he is the provider of our insurance...I've asked him to make me a "benefits administrator" for his company so that I can see what it would take to switch my policy to a PPO rather than a HMO...then Barix could immediately provide services for me. I really have decided that's where I want to go...but then again, I haven't really found any other facilities that can compare...I do wish they were closer. Anyway, if I'm a network administrator I can make changes to my policy...so he talked to them and put in a request...but there is about a week of waiting before the paperwork will go through so I can't start researching it yet...waiting AGAIN!

I am kind of dreaming what it will be like to lose the weight. I can't wait to be more active and enjoy more social situations and be outside more. Right now, it seems I'm always worried about chairs being large enough or if it will be hot. I'm sick of staring at my closet and wondering what's the most slimming outfit. I'd love to just go in there and pick up something to wear and know I look healthy and normal. I'm tired of always trying to have an extra seat next to me at church or the movies so that I'm not crowding the person next to me.

I am scared about that excess skin thing...but one day at a time. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Maybe God will bless me with good skin and I won't even have a major problem.

Starting to think about scheduling and when to have this so that it doesn't interfere with my commitments to others. I think scheduling a surgery at the right time is more important than just jumping at the opportunity of getting it done.

Friday, June 8, 2007

What I've learned so far....

Ok, I've spent most of the day looking through before and after pictures on the ObesityHelp website. It's a brave thing to post your pictures, and I'm thankful to the people who do. They give me hope and encouragement...so please understand that my comments are not meant to be negative, but as I read through them I know some sound like I'm making fun of people...and I'm sorry for that...
ANYWAY, here's what I've learned:

-if you had bad hair before the surgery, you'll still have bad hair after the surgery
-if you were weird looking before the surgery, you'll possibly be even weirder looking after the surgery
-if you're young (in your early 20's) and you look older, losing 100+ pounds certainly makes you look SO much younger, however if you're a little older (like 40+) and you lose 100+ pounds you might look even older. (I'm not sure where I'll fall in this area because I'm 34...)
-if you're young you look much better after this surgery than if you're old (I'm so glad I decided not to wait any longer) The younger the better.
-not to dress inappropriately after losing my weight (just because I can doesn't mean I should, and it seems many people don't realize they still can't)
-a lot of women have really fake looking boob jobs after losing their weight, I DO NOT want to do this...please someone stop me if I start talking about doing it! I understand needing to "fix" what obesity has damaged...but why put enormous softballs on your chest?
-You have a lot better chance of looking amazing if your under 300# pre-surgery
-loose excess skin is really ugly after losing huge amounts of weight (but not as bad as being fat)
-your whole face shape changes when you lose over 100#, you look like a different person
-this surgery gives people back a normal life
-a whole lot can change in only 1 year time
Yesterday I was reading one of the WLS books in journal entry from someone who was 4 months post-op. She was saying that it was the BEST thing she’d ever done for herself and was encouraging her readers who were pre-op or immediately post-op to not give up, that it gets SO MUCH BETTER. It re-encouraged me that this is truly what I want to do. Her journal entries showed me that she had a lot of the same food issues I have, her husband made similar comments to what mine has, and the surgery was still a successful life change for her.

SO, I called Elizabeth @ Barix and asked what was up. She’s still telling me she’s waiting to get “In Network” I’ve got to figure out what the heck she means by that. It’s frustrating enough waiting on an answer but then not understanding what we’re even waiting on is just plain annoying. She said I’m at the top of her list when the “In Network” comes through and she’ll call right away. She told me to hang in there.

Note to health care professionals: at least some of your patients have not had much experience with insurance and hospitals etc. We don't speak your lingo...this doesn't make us stupid. I could speak the lingo of my profession to you and you'd be bored stiff and have no clue what I was talking about. Be considerate and explain and ask if we know what the heck you're referring to. It makes us feel dumb that we don't know this stuff, and when you explain yourself it's like giving a definition...you can't use the word in the definition! When I ask what something means you have to explain it in words I use...not more medical lingo. (ok, stepping back off my soapbox)

Yesterday I was especially encouraged that I want to use Barix Clinics. I was reading the reviews on ObesityHelp and they were ALL excellent. Everyone was raving about the place. The only negative responses (out of like 100 reviews I read) were from 2 people who didn’t actually get their surgery there because of insurance reasons. The surgeons there all had excellent comments as well. I love the idea that it’s all they do, the equipment and staff are geared to accommodate overweight people…and also that there should be less infections floating around.

So I’m starting off today right…journaling and eating right:

I figure even if I’m not perfect the more right choices I make the better. Maybe my problem is that I always want to do things perfect or not at all.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

So I ended up blowing it late in the afternoon & evening yesterday. It started with twizzlers & sunflower seeds while playing a computer game. Then I took my son over to the farmers market for corn seeds (he wants to plant a garden) and bought some apple cider cake donuts…and ate 4 of them! At least I didn’t eat dinner, but then at midnight I’d forgotten about the donuts and decided to make chicken tortellini with alfredo sauce as I watched tv. It really is sad, I’m reading WLS books and eating like that. It was a smaller portion than I’d normally make…but still way larger than a serving size I’m sure. It’s now 9:15am on Tuesday and I just ate a twizzler. As I write this I’m thinking about that tortellini and how that would be an easy breakfast. I have no will power. I go through such good disciplined times and then I go through this chaotic eat out of control times. How can I expect a surgery to cure this? It won’t. I realize that. I wish Elizabeth would call me back for that appt. I think that would help me be more motivated. I need constant motivation or I give in to temptation.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Day 1 Pre-Op

So this is blogging thing is new for me...but as I've researched weight loss surgery I've really appreciated reading other people's blogs detailing their process. SO I'm doing this in case it will turn out to be helpful for someone...but mostly for ME since I think journaling my process and progress will help me stay committed and on track.

Today is the day I'm starting to prepare for surgery. Even though I haven't met with a Dr. or anything, I know this surgery is where I'm headed...and from all my research I know that I should start changing my habits now for the best sucess. I have talked to Elizabeth at the Barix Center in Langhorne, PA who assures me that she'll call this week to schedule a consulation...she's just checking on some insurance stuff so she knows exactly what I'll need.

Beginning Stats:

Height: 5'-6"
Weight: 285 lbs
Measurements:
Neck: 16.5”
Bicep: 18”
Wrist: 7”
Upper chest (under arm pits, arms down): 45.5”
Chest (@ nipple, no bra): 53”
Lower chest (at bra band): 44.25”
Waist (at belly button): 49”
Ponch: 58”
Thighs: 33.5
Calves: 19-19.25”
Ankles: 9.25”
Foot width: 4”

I want to try and focus on low calorie, high protein foods in smaller portions. Everything I read says losing weight before surgery is key to a safe surgery and to long-term success.

Something DH said last night really got me feeling crappy…and it’s that I know what is good for me and I choose to do otherwise…why am I going to the extreme of surgery? It’s not like I’m somewhere tempting food is always around…I buy all the junk I eat…so stop buying it. It sounds so simple, why is it so difficult? Also, the idea that even with surgery I could gain back the weight if I don’t change my eating and exercise habits is really scary. I would feel like such a failure.